Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A new theory of space and time

I enjoy Christmas: Not because of sherry and mince pies and that kind of thing, but because it gives me a rare opportunity to think. This Christmas, whilst packing our car for the annual trip to see the in-laws, I think I stumbled upon some new principles regarding the space-time continuum:
1) The Volume of a space, as measured by the matter it contains, is not equal to the volume as given by its dimensions.

No matter how large the boot of our car, my wife is always able to fill it. Over the years my cars have gotten bigger, whilst the amount of belongings we need to pack has decreased as our children have gotten older And yet everytime we go away, even if just for the night, our boot is filled. When we first got married I had a mini - you could excuse my wife for filling that - but now we have an MPV!

2) The Principle of Marital Mathematics: 1 + 1 = 1.

Remarkably, when I voiced my concerns about whether everything would fit, my wife told me "Don't worry, it's all presents - we won't have as much stuff when we come back". Hmmm... a car full of presents.... two small children.... lots of loving relatives to visit, each baring further gifts... Clearly the usual laws of mathematics don't work here... maybe less really is more - and vice versa of course!

3) The Concept of Infinite Baggage:

No matter how many bags you have already packed, there are always "just a couple more".

4) The Concept of the Infinite Boot:

Despite the above principle I always, somehow, find room to pack everything. Well, everything that is except for two of my shirts, several pairs of my socks, the really nice trousers I was planning to wear on Christmas day, that new book that I was going to read...

Have a great New Year!